i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
