You made me cry and you don't even care
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
