Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize