It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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