Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
