im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
