Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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