Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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