Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
