My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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