if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
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