It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
