I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
