she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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