Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
