why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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