I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
