Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
