ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
