I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
