Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
