a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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