No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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