I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
