My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
