So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
