I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
