dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
and she was petting her beer can
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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