So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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