Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
