what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
