I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
