4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
