6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
