He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
