it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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