Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
