why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
