they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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