Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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