Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
