He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
