Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize