new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
