This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
porn star boner night. come get it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
