I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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