a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My life is pants optional.
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