Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
