I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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