Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
