god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
