I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
