Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
