dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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