11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
