I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
