please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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