I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
