I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
