Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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