is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
