I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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